Why Is My Craigslist Ad Unsuccessful?: A Tutorial

So you've posted an ad for a product or service on Craiglist, but so far either no one has responded or only the "wrong" sort of person has, or it's just in some other way failing to work out.

Rather than sit around complaining about how stupid all these people are for failing to want your product or service, or about how stupid and/or crazy they are for thinking they could have your product or service when they clearly shouldn't have even hoped, perhaps you ought to consider whether it has something to do with your ad or method of dealing with the people who respond to it?

1) Is Your Ad Posted in the Right Section?

Apparently it's not as clear as you'd think that an ad for a boat should go in the boats section, or that people looking for housing in Maine are more likely to check the Maine category than they are the Florida one.

2) Is All The Information Present, Accurate, and Clear?

Customers search by price and location, even people who don't tend to use the search box glance quickly at the ads as they scroll past, looking for those two facts, the price and the location. A customer is not going to contact you about buying or renting if they have no idea what you intend to charge. Imagine your ad is a shop. When a customer comes in and sees that there are no price tags on anything, they'll assume one of three things, 1) that the items are the same price as they are usually in other shops, 2) that the shop owner is disorganized and imcompetant, or 3) that it's one of those "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" places. Either way, you're just confusing people and you need to cooperate with them, no matter how much you, for whatever bloody stupid reason, do not want to tell them the price.

Location is pretty important too. Have you been as specific as possible about the location of the item, home or service? If a customer doesn't know where you are, they're not going to respond to the ad. Yes, we know which state you're in, we know because we clicked on that category on the main page, but what *town* is it in? No, don't give me that vague "____area", surely you know which town your item, home or service is in? Otherwise I might be tempted to think you're one of those scammers who drives past a house, snaps a picture of it, uploads the pic to Craigslist and then tries to sell a house they don't own, while charging a hefty fee.

In fact, including your exact address saves everyone a lot of time. You're trying to engage a potential tenant or customer, not recruiting spies for the CIA, your tenant or customer doesn't need to be tested to see if they're smart enough to figure out where you live all on their own.

I know everyone's worried about security, especially after the Craiglist Killer thing but your customers or potential tenants are not interested in playing games either.

If you have a minimum income requirement, or an application fee, mention that before the tenant fills out any paperwork-preferably before they even get in their car to come see the place because believe me, they will be TICKED OFF if they come all the way over there only to discover they either don't qualify or are being asked to pay a fee to apply. Never, ever, EVER assume they already knew that. Never EVER EVER assume they already know *anything* or that they will ask the right questions (of course, some landlords prefer that tenants not ask too many questions but if there is something your potential tenant needs to know in order to decide if they want to rent from you do not assume they'll know to ask).

In a roommate situation, this includes the number of bathrooms, gender of roommates, and whether or not they have pets.

3) Are You Accessible?

If you don't want to leave an email address, leave a phone number. But in either case, make sure it is an email address or phone number that you check or answer every day, EVEN ON WEEKENDS. One couple I just tried to rent from, the husband would only communicate with me through email, while the wife would only communicate by phone and neither seemed to communicate with the other.

I've dealt with several landlords who clearly disliked dealing with people by email. I wonder, then, what led them to start posting their ads online? The internet is not just a cheap source of advertising, you know. Don't sign up for an internet message board in order to sell a product or rent a home, include an email address in your ad and then refuse to deal with customers by email.

If I wanted to talk to you on the phone, I'd have called you on the phone. It's the 21st century, deal with it.

4) Did you include large, clear and well lit pictures of both the inside and the outside of your item or home?

We live in the age of easily accessible digital photography. You can snap a picture and have it uploaded to the internet in a couple of hours. Or if you can't, get someone who can but don't expect people to buy a product they can't see clearly or at all. A poorly lit, upside down shot of your staircase is very interesting but it doesn't make me wanna rent from you.

And for Heaven's Sake, make sure your item or home is as clean and well presented as possible when you do take the photo.

5) Is Your Ad Written In Coherent, Grownup English?

With proper spelling, punctuation, capitalization without CAPSLOCKing all over, correct paragraph breaks and a minimum of teen slang and/or exclamation points?

6) How Do You Treat Ad Respondents When Contacted?

Do You:

A) Wait three to four days to respond to an email, or more than 24 hours to return a phone call?

B) Provide confusing instructions or unspoken but confusing protocol? Such as requiring ad respondents to email one person and talk on the phone to another? Withhold information from tenants who do not conduct their interviews the way you'd like them to? ("No, you can't take the application home with you, because I never get them back").

C) Are you rude, obnoxious, overly nosy? Have you ridiculed a potential tenant or customer for asking a question you thought was a stupid one? If a customer says they're on disability, did you laugh at them and demand to know what kind? If a potential tenant calls up and and asks to speak to you, giving their name, did you rudely snap "Who are you again?"

Did you lie about the place you're trying to rent, misrepresenting the size, state of repair,neighborhood or price? Are you and the person you posted the ad for in agreement on the price? Technically, I believe that a written agreement trumps a verbal one, so the price listed in the ad IS the price, not the one quoted by someone else later.

Did you talk down to the tenant because of their age, gender, or the sound of their voice on the phone?

Do you make a habit of conducting other business while dealing with a potential tenant, such as fighting with your children while on the phone?

Did you answer the phone in a way that makes the tenant suspect you are drunk?

Did you show up late? Did you fail to show up at all? If so, did you refuse to admit you were the one who had the wrong time?

Can you speak English well enough to communicate with a tenant?

Do you refuse to tell tenants things, like your address, for whatever bizarre reason of your own and then wonder why they never showed up for the appointment?

Do you engage in moronic headgames with tenants?

Do you not answer phone calls or emails?

Did you act as if basically dealing with tenants is something you are less than thrilled to be doing, as if you're actively attempting to keep people from renting the apartment? Act like you're doing them a favor?

Is your house, apartment, car, or other item overpriced? The flip side to the capitalist idea of having the right to charge whatever you want is that customers also have the right to refuse to pay what you're asking.

D) Did you make sure the place is cleaned and repaired before showing it? If you're remodeling, wait til that's *done* before inviting strangers to offer money to live there.

E) Have you been discriminating based on age, gender, orientation, race, religion, familial status, disability or source of income?

You might not *think* you are, but that doesn't mean you aren't. Sometimes it's better not to pass up a sure thing in favor of some non existent ideal tenant who hasn't shown up yet... I've found a lot of landlords and/or roommates want this perfect person, and do not want any indication that someone lives in the place/lives with them, let alone anyone not one hundred percent perfectly normal.

No matter how hard a person tries, they're going to leave evidence that a human being is living there. That's what *happens* when you're a roommate or when you allow another person to rent out your apartment.

Haunted Hikes of NH

I attended a lecture on Tuesday at the Hampstead Public Library. The guest speaker was Marianne O'Connor, author of Haunted Hikes of New Hampshire. I've read the book, so I was really interested to see what else she had to say.

Different crowd than when I went to see the Jackie Kennedy impersonator (the attendees there were all middle aged to elderly middle class white women), this audience had a lot more men and tween boys in it.

She used Powerpoint, with sound effects, showing us photos of the various places she's investigated. It was a lot of fun, I heard some more about the stories I remembered from the book (and other books I've read on the subject) as well as a couple of new things.

I wished there was more, though. It seemed to be over too soon (even if I was so tired I nearly fell asleep twice).

I would love to go on more "haunted hikes" if I had the energy and felt better more often.